


Somewhere Out There

by doing_her_best



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: Bible Camp, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 08:10:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19826047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doing_her_best/pseuds/doing_her_best
Summary: Alyssa feels lost at Bible Camp, desperately alone. One night, she is determined to find cell service so she can call the only person who can make her feel better.





	Somewhere Out There

Alyssa was running.

It was just after midnight, and she didn’t know where she was going, but she knew she had to get there fast.

Alyssa stared at her phone, the only light in the pitch black forrest, as she begged for bars of service to appear while she ducked between trees and over thick roots in the ground. Nothing appeared. She took random turns as she sprinter faster and faster, her heart pounding like a drum and she prayed to someone she wasn’t sure existed to get her as far away from as she could.

It was day three (well, night three) of Bible Camp, and Alyssa just couldn’t take it anymore. Even though she dreaded it all year long, the last few years she had gotten somewhat comfortable with the daily routines of prayer, sing-a-longs, camp activities, and generally being preached at 24/7. But now that she was a Counselor In Training, in charge of a group of sweet, smiling nine year olds, _she_ was supposed to be the one doing the preaching, and she just hated it.

Especially because she was supposed to preach that holding hands with the person she loved most in the world was wrong. And Alyssa just couldn’t stomach that. Not for two whole months.

That night, after her campers were fast asleep after their evening campfire, she slid into her bed feeling so full of anger, anxiety, and fear that she couldn’t lay still. She had been feeling pretty awful almost constantly the last few days, a dark anxiety and self consciousness consuming her. It made her feel like she was standing on the edge of a cliff every time she spoke to someone. She was supposed to be this perfect Christian girl, but she knew who she was deep down, and she was so far from perfect. Every minute she felt like she would be found out, and she was miserable living a lie. She wanted nothing more than to call Emma, to hear her soothing voice tell her that everything would be okay and that there was nothing wrong with her, but there was no cell service on the campgrounds; nothing could interfere with their “spiritual journey”, or whatever that meant.

Alyssa clenched her blanket tightly as she tried to calm down, imagining Emma there with her. She tried to think about happy memories: hiding during lunch in the band closets, longs drives on the weekends, hanging out in Emma’s room when her mother thought she was at the library. But the anxiety flooding her body refused to go away, and after a while Alyssa realized that she wouldn’t feel better until she could talk to the one person who understood her better than anyone else and accepted her for who she really was.

She counted to 327 before she was sure her co-counselor was asleep along with all the little girls in her cabin. As quietly as she could, she slipped out of her bottom bunk, grabbed her cellphone, shoes, and a sweatshirt, and silently slid out of her cabin. On the cabin porch, she turned on her phone, tapping her foot as it lit up slowly. Just as she suspected, no bars.

_Damn._

She tried dialing Emma anyways, but it didn’t go through. Alyssa groaned internally as she started walking away from the cabin, staring down at her cell the entire time. The cabins were located at the back of the campgrounds; she knew if she got far enough away, she would be able to get service. 

Alyssa broke into a light jog, the cool night air filling her lungs as she trotted through the woods. It felt exhilarating to try and burn off some of her anxious energy, so after a few minutes, she quickened her pace. She had always loved running; it helped her clear her head. But tonight, it just made her heart beat faster and faster.

Soon, she reached the end of the path she was jogging on; it had to be the end of the camp’s property. Alyssa paused and pulled her phone out of her pocket, but still no bars. “Come on,” she said out loud. She stamped her foot, frustrated. All of a sudden, she was angry again. All she wanted to do was call her girlfriend; she knew Emma would make her feel better, but she needed to hear her voice and she needed it now. 

Alyssa made a snap decision and headed deeper into the woods, where there wasn’t a clear path anymore. _I won’t go too far,_ she told herself, but suddenly she was running again. Running away from something, running towards something, she had no idea. But she had to keep running. 

She kept looking down at her phone, but nothing. Still no service. Her heart beat faster and faster as she started sprinting, determined to get somewhere where she could call Emma, to finally hear her-

“FUCK,” Alyssa screamed as her toe caught on a root, sending her tumbling to the ground. She was able to put her arms in front of her to break her fall, but her legs still got the worst of it. The breath knocked out of her, not from pain but from surprise, Alyssa did a quick internal assessment to make sure she wasn’t seriously injured: her ankles and arms were alright, but she felt her knees and realized they were badly scraped, both trickling blood. 

Alyssa slowly got up, tears beginning to overflow. She quickly realized she had gone much farther from the path then she intended, and she had no idea where she was. She looked around in the dark, wishing she had the forethought to bring a flashlight, when she noticed a little more light coming from the other side of some trees. Alyssa slowly walked through them…

...and discovered a completely open field, bathed in bright moonlight. 

Alyssa gasped at the wide expanse, the perfect green grass that covered hillside in front of her. For some unexplainable reason, Alyssa began to cry even harder; she slowly walked to the center of the vast field and started walking down the hill, her whole body shaking. In no time, she was half way down the hill...

...when she realized she felt a subtle vibration in her pocket.

Alyssa gulped and quickly fished her cell phone out of her sweatshirt pocket. She had service! The phone was vibrating like crazy, a flood of notifications pouring in from the last few days without service. 

Alyssa didn’t bother reading them before opening up her favorites and dialing her #1 contact.

“Pick up, Emma, pick up,” she whimpered as the phone rang. Her breathing was ragged as she listened to the first, second, third, fourth rings before it rolled to voicemail.

“N-n-n-no, no!” Alyssa wailed, dialing again. The phone kept ringing. One, two, three, four rings, and then voicemail again. 

“No, please no,” Alyssa moaned, dialing a third time. “Pick up, Emma, please.” She needed to hear her voice. She needed it. Her hands shaking even more, she daled Emma a fourth time, listening for the first ring, second, third-

-before she heard the click of someone pick up.

“Hello?” a muffled voice said.

“ _Emma,”_ Alyssa sobbed, overcome with relied.

“Lys?” Emma said, her voice thick with sleep. “Is that you?”

“Em, I miss you so much,” Alyssa wept as she collapsed on the hillside, her body turning to jello.

“How are you calling me?” Emma said as she pulled herself to consciousness. “Isn’t there no service there?”

“I just- I ran, I ran until I could find service,” Alyssa choked out, gasping for breath. 

“Babe, where are you?”

“I- I don’t know.” Alyssa began to cry even harder. “Emma, I want to come home.”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Emma whispered. “You’re going to be okay.”

“Em…” Alyssa sobbed, unable to catch her breath.

Emma started to fill with worry. “Baby, are you having a panic attack?”

Alyssa didn’t respond, she just cried even harder.

Emma sat up, rubbing her eyes. “Okay, Lys, do you know where you are?”

“No- no…”

“Okay, how did you get there?”

“I.. I ran. Emma, I’m lost.”

“You _ran_? You ran away from camp?”

“I- I didn’t run away! I just… ran. And I don’t know where I am.”

Emma swallowed, trying not to reveal her worry over the phone. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand, but without her glasses she couldn’t quite make out the numbers. “Okay, take a deep breath for me Lys. Let’s just breathe for a few minutes”

Alyssa tried to comply, but she was still shaky. “That’s it, it’s okay, you’re okay,” Emma said gently, trying to be soothing despite her grogginess from being woken up. Emma listened for a few minutes as Alyssa struggled to get under control, but after a while, her breath evened out.

“Okay, baby, why don’t you take a look around you, and tell me what you see?” Emma said carefully after she sensed Alyssa was starting to calm down. “Maybe I can help you get back.”

“I don’t want to go back,” Alyssa said. Emma pictured her pouting, her lip stuck out. “I want to come home to be with you.”

“I know baby, but you can’t stay out there all night. Can you tell me what you see?”

Alyssa looked around at the small, open field she was on. It was framed with trees on every side, and she had no idea how she got there. She darted her eyes in every direction, looking for a path or trail, but she was so disoriented in the dark that she couldn’t make anything out. She kept looking left, right, behind her, below her, all around, searching for some semblance of certainty of where was and finding none. 

And then, she looked up.

Alyssa gasped as she took in the hundreds, thousands, millions of stars above her. In the center of the field, there was nothing obstructing her view, and the endless expanse of stars seemed to go on forever. Alyssa had seen stars before, sure, but here there were millions of them. It made her realize just how isolated she was in that moment, how incredibly far away she was Emma. She was just a tiny speck of dust in a massive expanse. 

It made her feel impossibly small and very, very alone. 

Alyssa let out a wail, clutching her phone like a lifeline as she gasped for breath. “ _EMMA,”_ she screamed. 

“Alyssa??” Emma said, starting to panic herself. 

“Everything’s… so…. big!”

“Breathe, baby, just breathe,” Emma said, her heart shattering as she listened to Alyssa start to sob again and feeling so helpless. There was nothing she wanted more than to wrap her arms around Alyssa, but she was hundreds of miles away. “What’s big?” 

“Everything!” Alyssa screamed, nonsensical. 

“Okay, baby, what’s one thing that’s big?”

“There’s just… so many stars,” Alyssa wept. “So many stars.”

“Stars?”

“Y-yes,” she tried to explain through her tears. “There’s just… just so many. And I’m so far away from you.”

Emma bit her cheek, trying to hold back tears. She knew she couldn’t cry right then, but _God,_ hearing Alyssa like this just broke her. 

“Okay, baby, just pick one star,” Emma said finally. “Look at just one.”

Alyssa’s eyes searched nervously for a few moments until she settled on a star, bigger and brighter than the ones around it. “Okay, I.. I h-have one,” she said through tears, trying to catch her breath.

“Okay, tell me about the star.”

“It’s… b-bright,” Alyssa said, unsure of how to describe a star. “It’s... brighter than the- the ones around it. It’s got... a whole bunch of little ones right next to it."

“How many?”

“Um… six,” Alyssa replied, counting quickly. “And it’s not perfectly white, it’s got a little bit of green color I think, or maybe that’s because of the grass…” 

“Okay,” Emma said, “What else?”

“It’s… lonely,” Alyssa said finally. “It’s too big and too bright for the other stars around it, so they won’t come near it.”

“Alyssa-”

“It feels so different,” she whimpered, pausing to wipe her eyes. “It feels so different from everything around it, and it’s trying to blend in but it can’t.”

“Oh, baby…” Emma said sadly, feeling her heart break even more.

“Emma, I miss you so much,” Alyssa said, breaking into sobs again. 

“Okay, Lys, you know how I can see stars from my window?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, it’s the same stars,” Emma said gently, wishing she was there to wipe Alyssa’s tears. Emma crawled out of bed and sat on her window seat, staring out at the night sky. “I’m looking out at the stars right now, and I see the same ones you see.”

Alyssa made a small noise in response; Emma could hear her breathing start to slow again. “And you know what? I think I see the same star.” It was a white lie; without her glasses on, Emma couldn’t really make out the individual stars, but Alyssa didn’t need to know that. “Yeah, I definitely see it. We’re looking at the same star.”

“Mhm,” Alyssa sniffled. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Emma said. “And even though we’re far apart, we can still see the same sky. It’s the exact same sky, baby. Even though we’re apart, it’s the same sky.”

Alyssa smiled, just a little bit. “You sound like that song.”

“What song?”

Alyssa racked her brain for a moment before it came to her. “You know, from the movie with the mice. Where they are looking at the sky, they are together even though they are apart.”

“Wait, I totally know what song you’re talking about,” Emma said with a grin. “It’s from _An American Tail._ My mom used to sing it to me as a lullaby.”

There was a brief silence after the mention of her mother. “We used to watch the movie after school,” Emma continued. “I really loved that song growing up.”

“Yeah, I watched it in daycare when I was little,” Alyssa said as she fished back the memory. “I remember singing it with my friends at snack time."

“Wait, hold on a sec…” Emma said. Alyssa heard the audio change slightly as Emma switched her phone to speaker and began typing on her laptop.

“What are you looking for?” Alyssa asked.

“I’m googling the guitar chords.”

“The chords?”

“Yeah, so I can play it for you.” 

Alyssa sighed happily. “Oh, Emma-”

“Found ‘em,” Emma said. Aylssa could hear the smile in her voice as she slid on her glasses, grabbed her guitar and started strumming softly. The music instantly helped a calmness wash over Alyssa, and she focused on her breathing as Emma began to sing softly, beautifully.

_Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight_

_Someone’s thinking of me and loving me tonight_

_Somewhere out there someone’s saying a prayer_

_That we’ll find one another in that dream somewhere out there_

All of her fears melted away as Alyssa listened to Emma sing. She had the most amazing voice, but she was so self conscious, she almost never let anyone hear it. She only sang for Alyssa as a rare treat, or on special occasions. Alyssa allowed herself to relax a little, laying back on the grass as she let her girlfriend’s voice fill her body with warmth. She put the phone on speaker and closed her eyes, imaging Emma right there with her, in the field.

_And even though I know how very far apart we are_

_It helps to think we might wishing on the same bright star_

_And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby_

_It helps to think we’re sleeping underneath the same big sky_

Alyssa wiped her eyes as she realized she had stopped crying. She kept staring up at the stars, and it was strangely comforting knowing that Emma was looking at the same thing. 

_Somewhere out there if love can see us through_

_Then we’ll be together somewhere out there_

_Out where dreams come true._

“That was so beautiful,” Alyssa said when the last guitar chord faded away.

“Aw, shucks,” Emma said faux-bashfully, closing her laptop. She felt herself start to blush in spite of herself. She was always shy about singing in front of people. But Alyssa always made her feel comfortable. “Are you feeling better now?”

Alyssa twirled a piece of grass between her fingers. “Yeah, I am,” she admitted. “You always make me feel better.”

“I love you so much, Alyssa. I can’t wait til the summer is over.”

“I love you too, Em.”

Emma cleared her throat, dreading her next question. “Do you think you will be able to find your way back? Now that you’re a little calmer.”

Alyssa sighed quietly. “Yeah, I think so. I just… don’t want to stop hearing your voice for the next two months.”

“Well, you don’t have to,” Emma responded. “You can come back to whenever you are, and call me when you need.”

Alyssa’s eyes shot open in surprise. “Wait, really?”

“Well, sure.”

“I can’t get away during the day,” Alyssa said, her mind quickly running through her daily routine. “They have us scheduled so tightly, and they watch me like a hawk.”

“Well, at night maybe?” 

“You mean it? You aren’t mad that I woke you up?” Alyssa cringed as she spoke, finally realizing just how late it was. 

“Nah,” Emma said, another white lie. “You aren’t _totally_ terrible to talk to.”

Alyssa snorted. “Wow, glad to hear I’m not completely terrible. Maybe we could… schedule something? So you don’t have to worry about being woken up.” 

“Is… tomorrow night too soon?” Emma responded quickly, passionately.

“Wow, maybe I’m not the only one missing someone,” Alyssa said with a lighthearted giggle.

“Lys, I already miss you like crazy,” Emma admitted, suddenly serious. “I’m…. so glad you called. I was so worried about you.”

“We could make this a nightly thing,” Alyssa said gently, hoping Emma would agree.

“I would love that,” Emma replied instantly. “What time works for you?”

“Um.. lights out is at 11, and I want to make sure everyone is asleep, so maybe. . . . midnight? Is that too late?”

“Not at all,” Emma replied. “I don’t start work until 10 most days.” 

“Perfect,” Alyssa said, yawning slightly. 

“You should head back and go to bed, baby.”

Alyssa gently rubbed her eyes; they were starting to feel heavy. “I just don’t want to stop hearing your voice.”

“You don’t have to. Just promise me you’ll call again tomorrow.”

“Only if you promise to pick up,” Alyssa responded, yawning again. 

“Of course.”

“Okay,” Alyssa said, slowly standing up. She glanced towards the forrest again, realizing that some of the trees looked a little more familiar. She felt fairly sure of the way back. 

“Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow baby.”

“Hey Em?”

“Yeah?”

“Before you hang up, can you sing the last verse again?” Alyssa felt herself blush slightly, the cool night air blowing past her warm cheeks. “You don’t need to play, I just want to hear you sing.”

“Of course, baby,” Emma replied, and she began to sing, a promise to return the next night. 

_Somewhere out there if love can see us through_

_Then we’ll be together somewhere out there_

_Out where dreams come true._

  



End file.
